Drama Cloud

I feel heavy, overwhelmingly so and have no idea how to fix my problem. After emailing my brother a nice letter about how I just wished he had given notice so that Dad could have rescheduled that day with me and how we all worked hard for our accomplishments even if we took different paths, he sent me another scathing reply. This time he attacked my marriage, ranted about how his mom received less child support than mine and thus he had to endure more hardship, how I'm a drama cloud, and that Dad probably just didn't want to spend time with me and that's why he jumped ship to B's plan.

He's a late 30 year old cry baby that's jealous because he thinks daddy loves me more and is ticked off because I called him out. I didn't say a word last Father's Day when we all rearranged our schedules so that we could go to a breakfast buffet at a time that fit B's schedule. When Dad showed up he said, "Guess what?" I replied, "B's not coming?" Yep, he blew us off. I didn't say a word when he showed up late to Thanksgiving Day at Dad's place and we had to sit and watch the turkey cool until B decided to show up. He is nothing but a selfish guy who cares little about family.

The worst part is that he keeps trying to hurt me as bad as he can. What is he going to come up with next? Attack my religion? politics? He told me to stay as far away from him and his family and I just want to reply, "I'm never around. Our family is barely around you anyways so what is your point?" He's a male premadona who's jealous of me and my success. He's jealous of dad and my relationship. He's mad that someone had the gull to call him out.

Anything I say will be held against me and possibly forwarded to the rest of the clan. I have to stay nice even though I want to throttle him. I have to keep my composure even though he's hitting below the belt.

A-

First of all, you really need to mind your own business. In case you forgot, I am a father as well. Do me a favor and stay out of my life. We are all so sick of you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. You have know idea or the circumstances of that day. Haven't you learned to keep your mouth shut yet. Don't ever talk to me like the way you did in your email. I don't know who you think you are. You know most of us think you are nothing but a snobby, spoiled girl who has been given everything but knows nothing about the real world, so Shut It!

B-

Dear Big Brother,

Your maturity astounds me. The issue is not me and you; it's the fact that you ditched your Father's Day plans with dad and didn't let him know till half the day had gone by. He called and you let him sit by the phone waiting all day long until you were ready to call with the news that you were not driving up to visit. He spent the day alone, which is superb. He broke plans off with me since you come around so infrequently, and you didn't give him enough notice so that he and I could have spent the day together.

Before I end this letter there are three points I'd like to address:

1. Just because you are a father doesn't make you a great son. Since bailing out is what you do, besides your other hobby of borrowing money and calling it an early inheritance rather than paying it back, that means you are a shi-tastic son. Way to go!

2. Never imply that your life was so much harder than mine, and that my life was simply given to me. You went to public school, boo fricken hoo. Dad offered to pay for your college just like mine, but, dear brother, whereas I studied and ended up with a diploma. You partied and lasted, oh, how long was it? A quarter, six months? The point is that I wasn't handed A's in high school, college, or grad school; I earned them. There's this radical method called studying...maybe you should have tried it rather than drinking from a bong.

3. To tell me to get out of your life would imply that I was in it. It's not very hard to exit when you've never truly been invited in. I heard via grape vine that you had married seven months after it happened, although Dad and the rest of the family heard that way too (see you are a great son! Way to go!), it wasn't until she was about to burst that I found out she was prego, hmmm...and the list goes on.

4. Oh, and I guess I lied. One last point, which has to do with sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Yes, I should be more like you when it comes to this point. Your wisdom rings true. So when we discovered that our niece had fleas I shouldn't have said a word. Maybe I should have sent over a dog collar and pretended it was a bracelet. Gee, bro, you are so right! Who cares if her scalp is crawling with fleas, she smells like cat pee, and she's going deaf because of her filthy environment! Thank you for showing me the light!

Sincerely,

Your favorite lil sis

My Infinitesimal Brother

What is worse? Being considered a snobby bitch or a selfish prick who only comes around the family when he wants to borrow money? Someone who studied and went to college or the screwball who took wedding money, broke off the engagement, spent it, and claimed that it was his early inheritance? Honestly, my brother is the biggest douche bag in the world, I mean king of douche bags and deserves some kind of award for his supreme doucheness. I still can’t believe he blew off his own father on Father’s Day, returning dad’s phone call five hours later to say p.s. I’m not coming. Dad broke plans with his other children ie me so Prince Prick could come and visit, and then what does he do? Yes, his royal doucheness cancels. Well, all I can say is that I hope his son turns out to be just like him. I hope one day my little nephew will teach my brother what it’s like to be treated so poorly. Maybe then he’ll realize that we don’t just live in his world to serve him.

Last year I remember sitting in the MR theater where are staff meetings were held while our Principal announced to the staff the names of the people being laid off. Uncomfortable, we, those of use being named, sat together at a table assuming those around us felt relieved that they were not getting the ax. I assumed wrong. It's been a year, and I'm no longer at that school. I have made a new home and now have enough seniority to squeeze barely past the RIF list. Feeling happy I went to our staff meeting not realizing the blow I'd receive. Our principal stood in front of us, just like the one I had the year before, and began the sad tale of who'd be "let go." Name after name, a heavy feeling seemed to suffocate the room as we realized who we would probably never see again. Some left by choice, others like Laura had been blindsided only hours earlier. I did not feel relieved, comfortable; I just felt sad and guilty. Guilty that I was still here while others were jobless in this thriving economy. One teacher fortunately had found a job already, sad but happy I felt since she and her husband had just bought a house. I just wish it didn't have to be this way.

Rant Minus the Rave

A wolf moon is out tonight, large and full, filling the heavens with its large round face. It only happens once a year, and anyone, even poor people like me who don't own telescopes, can stand outside and tell friends and family members the next day that they saw this event. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be one of those people since I live in Seattle. Those people don't have to miss out because a thick layer of clouds won't be covering their sky. Only in Seattle would we miss amazing events because of rain. This year, even more than any other, has seen one rainy day after another. I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever see stars here. Why bother buying a telescope when the white clouds can be seen and enjoyed by all with complementary rain drops to add to the experience.

Poem to My Estranged Aunt

Dear Aunt D
You let our family fall apart
Sliced by a razor into shreds
Bleeding the life from the undead
Embittered ties stretched further still
Leaving time for all things unhealed
Gatherings of old left to rot
Rank and poisoned by a youth
Whose ungracious nature you chose to side
Letters sent to stab yet more
Blaming a woman so incredibly kind
Brats raised by your hands
What do you have to say
to a sister who lies near her grave
Will you still stay away unscathed
Will you never repent of your undoing
Time’s pendulum swings ever lower
To sever the thin cord that binds
You have barely enough time
Before it all ends